a boost in esteem

My energy and overall self-esteem has been gradually building back up again, but I still have a ways to go.  I think until my tummy is flat and firm again I'll still struggle on my self-esteem.  My abs and shoulders were my favorite aspect of my body in how well they were defined so I would like to see them defined again.  

I'm also glad to find that I"m not as self conscious at the gym as when I first started going back, which is a huge relief.  That was such a crappy feeling.  I've also been consistent with going, which is helping that to.  

My eating habits are improving, I'm thankful to have some all good days and some mostly good days.  I still have a few bad day's mostly on weekends, as I still have yet to put together an eating plan that I actually stick to.  On my mostly good days it's not until the evening when I'm lounging in front of the TV eating endless amounts of Target brand plain animal crackers.  They are so very addicting so last night I put them away in my pantry cupboard so they're not lying next to my bed in plain sight with super easy access.

I'm also excited to have added a few new pieces to my workout wardrobe.  Some of my pants are more than 3 years old and they've been showing for the last year how old they are.  My favorite find is a pair of lululemon athletic yoga pants that I only paid $4 for and they are so comfy.  I've been wanting to buy something from lululemon, but they are out of my price range and they end in a size 12.  Though the funny thing is that these pants say size 10.  I'm totally aware that I'm no where near a size 10, but it gives me hope that I can buy clothing from there and it will actually fit.  I also picked up a pair of grey nike pants.  I was debating on buying them, because they were a little baggy in the front but when I reviewed the tag specials of the day they turned out to only be $1 and they went right into my cart with another hesitation.

Here's an updated picture of how long my hair is getting.

Though someday's I miss my short hairstyle.

I had started using a 8x11 3 subject notebook to log my eats and workouts in, but I quickly drew tired of lugging it around and not taking as nice of a pic as my little target notebook did, so today I've decided since I'm staring over, again, with my challenge I'm going to use a new notebook of my old version.  

Oh, yeah, almost forgot to mention that I'm not working this weekend.  I have a friends wedding up north on Saturday so I took the whole weekend off, which then allows me to attend service on Sunday.  It feels like an eternity since I've last been able to attend so I'm really excited to go and hear my pastor speak and see my friends.    

rise of the mid-section

I'm finally feeling like life is calming down and I can regain control and so begins a new blog post.  Sorry it's been a while since my last update, life has been blah for me when it comes to wanting to blog.  so much has happened, good and better then planned and then there's the rise (increase) of my mid-section.

I stopped exercising in mid-September when I hit a brick wall and since have gained 5lbs and 6" on my waist causing some infrequent pains in my lower back.  This past weekend I put together a new notebook to record my workouts and read through pg. 90, which gets me to stage (week) 5 of the plan.  My trips to the gym have been pretty infrequent, but I have been going.  It's really just a blow to my pride going back in this type of shape.  Tacking on 5 extra pounds has really made a huge difference to how I feel and  my body shape.  I was in such great shape a few months ago and I wanted to go back to the gym feeling my sexiest and instead I'm coming back a few pounds heavier and a low self-esteem.  Though with RYBO I plan on gaining back control of my body weight and self esteem.

Last week I picked up a copy of Run Your Butt Off by Runner's World.  I kept getting the emails and after I bit it peeked my interest.  I knew that I needed to do something and my energy levels have dropped making it difficult for me to begin the Sexy is Strong Challenge again. 

Abs Today:

Weight: 159

It's now day 4 and I'm doing pretty good.  The book recommends scoring yourself each day on how well you do in eating healthy.  1 being a bad day and 5 being whatever your idle of eating healthy is.  I'm going to be posting my daily eats and workout scores like I did with Sexy is Strong Challenge on facebook and my blogging goal is at least once a week to keep myself accountable . I've also be posted embarrassing photos of my my abs (shown above) to show how much I've let my abs go and below Ive posted what they looked like back in August to help motive me to loose the extra inches.  

Goals to be accomplished by December 31 (5 weeks):
* run for 30 minutes without a rest period
* lose 4" in my abs
* eliminate lower back pain
* look and feel like I did in August (photo below)

Abs on 08/12/11:

Weight: 154


Yesterday's Eats: go
Yesterday's Workout go

starting up again

Strong is Sexy Fitness Challenge_visit Week1
Thursday. I feel blessed to be able to move, play and create

It's been a long few weeks trying to get back into the grove of working out again, but I finally made a plan and decided to restart the Strong is Sexy Challenge since I had such great reuslts and they are awesome workouts.

I took my workout log I used for this challenge and skipped a few pages and began adding my workouts and daily affirmations up to Monday so I didn't use an excuse not to workout.  Yesterday was Day 1of this re-visited challenge and I was excited until I stepped into the gym and it was so crowded and the cardio room had a class and another one starting shortly after.  I  ended up doing my challenge in the warm up/cool down area and I felt so insecure, especially now that I have a bulge in my belly where I didn't have before.   With a few of the moves I ended up tucking in my shirt, which wasn't very flattering either.  It's going to be a long hard journey just to get back to where I was only a month ago, but had I have kept working out instead of eating my stress I wouldn't be in this state.  I am proud to say that I completed my workout yesterday despite how insecure I felt and I finished to failure. 

Despite trying to start slow with my workouts my body today tells me otherwise.  I guess it didn't like all my cardio I did yesterday.

It's funny how only 6 weeks ago I looked cute and awesome in my workout wear and now I wish I had more baggy workout shirts.  Though I'm thankful that I'm not allowing myself to get any worse and have started to get myself back into a balanced life.   I've also printed out a few recipes I want to try so when I'm in Huntingdon working I have healthy meals to eat instead of junk. 

My updates on this  challenge will be less frequent then my prior challenge as I just don't have the time to post everyday, so I'll be keeping it to once a week and maybe a few in between about my house hunting adventures.
   
* Booty Firm Up– interval challenge
   03-05-06-06-06 Explosive Star
   05-05-05-05-05 Plank to Pike Jump
   08-08-17 Pike Leg Switch (Pendulum)
   15-15-15 Seated Bicycle
   06-05-05 Monkey Business Push Ups
   10-10-08 Flying Scissor

I legs were so done by my last set of Flying Scissors that my legs callasped.

IMAGE SOURCE    

eats

not bad, except the medium bag of frosted animal crackers.

catching up is hard to do.

I know I'm behind on my posts, and I'm sorry.  I've not been myself these last 6 weeks and I'm not liking that I've allowed myself to get like this. My eating habits have gotten out of control and I've been stress eating.  I've not been working out and everything has been overwhelming with everything I've been trying to do.  I've been working 7 days a week since the end of August and after only a few short weeks I began to lose my balance.  I was working to hard and my body crashed into a depressive state.  I was spending so much time working and focusing on house hunting that I forgot about everything else. 

I've gained 6 lbs, which doesn't sound like a lot, but visually it's not a picture I like to see, and my shoulders and neck are so tight.  Last week my chiropractor told me this is the worst he's seen me and I have another appointment Thursday.  I did finally restore my gym membership last week, and I've been able to go twice.  It feels so good to run and some stress has been relieved, but I have so much stored in my shoulders and neck it's going to be awhile before I'm fully recovered.  

I'm excited for the weekend as this is going to be my first weekend that I'm not working since the end of August and I'll be spending all of it with friends.  Friday I'm going to a bonfire, Saturday I may be helping a friend paint her room, in the evening I'm going to a friends for Karaoke and Sunday I'll be attending our young adult service, which I've missed the last two months.   

Things are looking up in the house hunt and right now I'm just trying to be patient, but feeling anxious to hear news from my Realtor about a house I want to buy.  It's a numbers game right now and I'm not sure if the numbers will add up in my favor for this place.  The positive is since viewing this place on Friday I've stopped looking for other places, which is a good sign that I'm not looking for a way out like I've done with the previous two that I was close to putting an offer on.  Though my dad did help in my decision of not purchasing them.  It's been helpful and a blessing to have both my parents along with me on the house I have a high interest in and even better that they are not finding reasons to argue with each other.  I really appreciate their opinions and want their blessing in the house I decide to buy and I have that with with current house.

HERE'S A SNEAK PEAK THE DINING AREA   

I know I've got to get back on track with my eats and exercise so I'll be working on a plan tongiht so I don't try to add any more excuses to why I'm out of control and getting fat.

I plan on re-starting the Sexy is Strong Challenge, which I'm excited about.  This is a great challenge and I saw so much progress in the 5 weeks I was going strong.  I also plan on writing down my eats again.  This is a way for me to really see what I'm eating and when.  I'm also going to be good and start slow.  I'm going to be working out just 3 days a week, and only cardio.  My first, this week, I'll be working out at the gym in the evening doing only cardio.  Then next week I'll resume my morning workouts at the gym and hopefully catch up with a few of my workout buddies I haven't seen since June.  I'm also going to not turn on the computer after 9pm, so I'm not up past 10pm and I can get some sleep.  Last night I was proud of myself for shutting out the lights by 10pm and getting 8 hours of sleep.

10/10/11 HOUSE UPDATE
Turns out the taxes on the house (photo shown above) were to high for me to quality to buy it, so it's back to square one on looking.   Plus, the owners aren't willing to go down any further then their current listing price, which is far to high for the amount of work that needs to be done here.

a green awakening

Strong is Sexy Fitness Challenge_visit Week6
Saturday. Seeing the positive comes easy to me

Another hum drum lazy dazy just not feeling like getting up kind of morning, but I eventually got up and put on my workout gear.  Although it was many hours later till I actually got out for my run.  We skipped morning coffee with the family so I brewed a cup of french vanilla to help wake me up as I as still struggling to find some energy to get moving.  

About an hour later I started working on the kitchen.  Today I took care of the island's main cabinet and 3 of the drawers.  I washed everything and cleaned the shelves.   I think I'm down to 3 cabinets top shelves which contain some various items that I'm not sure what to do with yet.

A few hours into the afternoon we were called for lunch with the family.  We had roast beef in sauce on a sub roll with homemade mac and cheese.  It was nice to see the crew and chat for a bit before we headed back to the house when I continued to work on the kitchen.  

A few hours later I finally made it out for my run.  I was planning on doing my bodyrock workout afterward, but had a dilemma after a phone cal from my grandmother.  Turns out a ticket I had gotten on 8/26 for a headlight that was out, which then led to a ticket and only 5 days to get that fixed, plus remove the tint of my driver and passenger windows + change my drivers license address.  If I got the verification paperwork done in 5 days I was supposed to avoid a fine, paperwork sent to me states otherwise.  I spent the next hour talking to my grandparents and my mom trying to deescalate.  I"m sure you can image how upset I was, especially with all the fines added up.  

* 2.39 mile run_visit
 

Once I was calmed down I came back in the kitchen to finish cleaning up, then headed upstairs for a shower.  I had a feeling that as soon as I got in the shower the family would call us for dinner, especially since the sun had already set and sure enough they did.  My shower was shortened and I had to do a quck blow dry and we headed over.  We chatted for a while helped clean up the dinner dishes before heading back for bed.

Once I crawled into bed I thought I would check to see if I might be able to access my phone internet and surprising I did.  I took the next hour and a half checking my email and viewing my trulia recommendations based on some of the houses I'm following.  It was slower then my home internet, but still a lot faster then dial up.  Yes, up here in Huntingdon we live in the land of dial up.  I like the email recommendations as it keeps me open to other places that I may not have found.  I found a few I'll review further once I get home if it's not to late when.

YES, THAT IS A GRASSHOPPER ON MY TOOTHBRUSH. AT 3:30AM.   

Sunday. I am amazing, inside and out

This morning was another lazy day and spent most of the day on the couch with my laptop, but I did sneak outside for a little while since I had better internet on my phone.  It was beautiful today and glad I got to enjoy it before it got cold.  My mom had given me two more listings after talking to a listing agent who was selling a house a friend of her's was interested in.  I wasn't able to find much on the listings so I'll check into them later tonight.   also was glad to catch Love Begins a Hallmark Original Movie.  I think an addition of the Love Comes Softly Series, which I very much enjoy. 

CUTE STRAY THAT'S BEEN COMING AROUND. ISN'T HE SO CUTE.   

NICE SHOT OF PUNKIN FROM THE SIDE.   

eats

Very bad this weekend.  I was a snack-a-holic.

beautifully serene

Strong is Sexy Fitness Challenge_visit Week6
Friday. I jump out of bed with energy and purpose!

Shockingly I sleep very well last night and was so glad to wake up feeling rested.  I still passed on getting up to workout this morning, I think now because it was what I'd done all week and it was comfortable and easy.  However, I did sneak in a Tone it Up! workout before lunch time.  Though I only went through it once. 

* Detention Workout– 2-3 Repeat Circuit by Tone it Up (only once through today)
   10 R-Lunges
   10 L-Lunges
   60 secs Plank
   20 Squat Jacks
   10 R-Side Crunches w/out medicine ball
   10 L-Side Crunches w/out medicine ball
   20 Tummy Tucks

I don't have an exercise ball so I can't write "I will tone it up!" with a medicine ball, so I'll just be in plank position for 60 seconds instead.

After work I plan on stopping by two places.  One I'm super excited just from the interior pictures, but not sure if I want to be that far north.  I think the drive by will be very helping in determining if this house is worth the drive.  

HOUSE #1 WICONISCO ST    

PROS * $89,900 * 3bed, 1.5 bath *  Super close to work * $0000 Taxes * detached garage * nice size fenced in yard

CONS - Galleyway Kitchen - Looks like a forest outfront - no central air - small bathroom - no central air

Listed on 08/27/11

HOUSE #2 BUTLER ST 

PROS * $89, 900 * 3bed, but only 1 bath * HW floors * $0000 Taxes * Nice size fenced in yard * Great open kitchen

CONS - A further drive - no central air -

Listed on 02/07/11

eats

were very good today.

Breakfast:
* 1/2 blueberry bagel w pb + chia seeds + strawberries
* cottage cheese
* coffee

snack:
* black seedless grapes
* almonds
* raisins

Lunch:  Salad Wrap + cherries

* pre-made salad in deli w tuna salad
* cucumber
* cherry tomatoes
* Giant Organic Italain Dressing
* Spinach Wrap

Snack:
* chocolate protein shake
* yellow apple

each day is a gift

Strong is Sexy Fitness Challenge_visit Week6
Thursday. Each day is a gift.

It was a pretty rough night again.  After the week I've had and the issues with sleep latency I need to find a way or two to help relax me so I'm not so wired before I turn out the lights.  After an hour I was finally able to fall asleep, but with some disrupted sleep and by the time my alarm went off my body was not fully rested.

I didn't get to my workout today or even yesterday, but hope sometime this evening I will get even a short workout in.  Laundry was one of the things I was able to get done this morning and glad that I only had enough for one load. 

I did however, get a chance to organize some house information and chose 4 from the printouts my Realtor gave me to review.  There were, as always, good and bad for each of them, but really some of the bad helped to eliminate them completely.

HOUSE #1 PENNWOOD. PILE: NO 

This house was a town house/row home that had some really great qualities, but also had a few things that distracted from the good.

PROS * $70, 900 * 3bed, but only 1 bath * Nicely kept neighborhood,    but just on that block * $1303 Taxes * Nice size fenced in yard

CONS - Railroad a block over - Furniture warehouse a block over - baseboards - older cabinets - pink tile in the only bathroom - no central air

HOUSE #2 GREEN.  PILE: NO  

As I made my way to this house I was getting a little nervous. the neighborhood just was to run down and dirty that there was no way I was going to even keep this a consideration. I parked for a quick second and then decided to just keep moving. Plus the road was really clogged up with vehicles and the roads were torn up.

HOUSE #3 N 3RD. PILE: REALTOR

PROS  * $94,900 * 4bed, but only 1 bath * Close to Italian Lake * Close to work * Laundry Room * Nice size fenced in yard * Includes Mic+DW+Fridge+W/D * beautiful layout and flooring * open and beautiful kitchen

CONS  - $2373 Taxes - Neighborhood could be cleaner - on street parking - window units - oil, radiator heat - asbestos shingles - back yard view

HOUSE #4 FULTON ST. PILE: REALTOR  

I was really excited about his place as it had so many great things going and in May they lowered the asking price by 35k.  It was a pretty sweet thought thinking that such a beautiful house with a 2 car garage was located in Harrisburg in my price range, but then I realized why when I drove by.  It was this beautiful bubble community surround by a whole lot of ugly.  I k now the city is trying to bring up the community, but why you would build such beautiful homes in that specific location I don't understand.  It really doesn't make me feel safe to walk outside of the bubble community and having a safe community I can walk freely in is high on my list.  With this I can definitely see why it hasn't sold and why they included a two car garage & a beautiful while privacy fence, because no one would be stupid enough to park their expensive car in such a neighborhood.  Plus, the privacy fence helps to hide the run down city around your home. 

Dispute how ugly the surrounding community is I'm still planning on making a visit., as it's like a needle in a hay stack home with all the amenities.    Really with all that it offers I would be silly not to at least walk inside and check it out.  Plus, it's the lesser priced of the ones for sale and it's the best looking as far as updates and space planned. 

PROS  * Kitchen Size * 2 bed 1.5 ba * Beautiful community * Central Air/Heat * Laundry Room * Nice size fenced in yard * price reduced 35k in May * 2 car garage * built in 2004 * gas range, mic, dw, fridge, w/d

CONS  - $110K - Surrounding Neighborhood - $2000 taxes - back yard view - possible short sale

summary

I'm still no where near making an offer on any of the houses I've viewed and driven by and wont be for a little while as I still have a pretty sizable pile of homes to drive by and potentially visit.  I've only had one house and that's the one on 5th street that I was willing to place an offer, but currently it's still off the market going through the final foreclosure stage before it goes back on the market.  Though it's nice to see what else is out there and who knows I may find something else that says this is home

Currently, I have around 6 condos/homes I would like to attend a showing and so my official Realtor is hard at work scheduling those appointments for next Tuesday.  I'll continue to keep you updated on the process and posting photos of the places I drive by and what I like and don't like and hopefully be able to make a final decision in the next 30-60 days when I'll know if I qualify for first time home buyer help.

I have two that I want to drive by before I head off to Huntington tomorrow,  and about 8 near the Derry/Berryhill area that I'll visit either Monday or Thursday next week..

eats

were almost really good.  Had 2 donuts around lunch time and 3 chocolate chip cookies around dinner.

Breakfast:
* 1/2 blueberry bagel w pb + chia seeds + strawberries
* cottage cheese
* coffee

snack:
* 2 donuts (1) chocolate frosting on plain (1) chocolate glazed

Lunch:  Salad Wrap + yellow apple

* pre-made salad in deli w tuna salad
* cucumber
* cherry tomatoes
* Giant Organic Italain Dressing
* Spinach Wrap
* broccoli, mushrooms, onions (leftovers)

Snack:
* black seedless grapes
* almonds
* raisins

Dinner
* Kashi Autumn Wheat 
* soy milk
* strawberries
* 3 small Betty Crocker chocolate chip cookies